For those of us who inhabit the American heartland of old Cadillacs, flatlands and flea markets, our national politicans conjure supposed real deals seasoned with a peculiar dash of our unique pop culture affinity for new frontiers and adventure.
It has always been a marvel how lame their blandishments are. Openly small-timey about the country auction like nature of their preferred policies, Washington DC never blushes at its transparent game. I guess that would be hard for a place whose political-social life is filled with parties, hustlers, vixens, and spies. They are alternately beautiful, social-climbing, power crazed, tacky-dressing, aw-shucks-good-ole-boying, patronizing, pushy, pocket and brain-picking, soul sucking, wild, wooly, touching, and often hilariously funny.
Our capitol is a place that is forever asking we-the-people for a sale. They sell. We buy. They profit. We pay and pay and pay. Better than a mini-mall, it’s the national mall. It’s like stepping back in time, but not in a good way. Sort of. A lame mall, maybe. It’s quite fancy on the surface with its architecture, museums and history and seemingly very nice. It is more like a big meaningless space in a giant strip or outdated enclosed mall that leases spaces to whatever groups bid the highest, who then set up booths to sell us low-grade crap.
Given the town’s current low popularity, I think it needs ads and a jingle or two. Ads with low production values, great catch phrase hooks, simple, repetitious with quirky on-screen personalities are always the most effective ones at the local level. Given the level of jive emanating from this nation’s mini-mall on the national mall, I think it needs a rap song ad that is catchy and offers some cool jerk, dance moves.
Who ever fronts this ad should be able to boogie, have big eyes, poofy hair, a slight underbite and easy to mock. The tune should be stick-in-your-head-all-day good.
Based n the headlines of the past few days alone, here are some initial idea lyrics for a place we all know. It’s entitled Flea Market Washington DC.
Health care, tax cuts, rockets and jobs, oh yeah
You can find them at Flea Market Washington DC
We talkin about Flea Market
Washington DC, it’s more than, more than just a mini mall
It’s our national mall
Oh yeah, come shop and save with us
I said Flea Market Washington DC
Health care, tax cuts, rockets and jobs, oh yeah
You can find them at Flea Market Washington DC
We talkin bout Flea Market
Washington DC, its just like, its just like a mini-mall
Conveniently located on the national mall
Oh yeah, come shop and save with us
I said Flea Market, Washington DC
It’s just like, its just like, a mini-mall, hey hey
You heard me
Come shop and save, health care, tax cuts, rockets and jobs, we got em
You need it, you’ll find it, its just like
It’s just like a mini-mall, hey hey, you heard me
Come shop and save, I said Flea Market, Washington DC
It’s just like, it’s just like, a mini-mall, hey hey
Health care, tax cuts, rockets and jobs, oh yeah
You can find them at our Flea Market
We talkin bout Flea Market
Washington DC, it’s just like, it’s just like a mini-mall
Conveniently located on the national mall
Hey hey, don’t stop, lets make it a dance, come on now
To the left (to the left)
To the right (to the right) lets do this dance
Hey, to the left (to the left)
To the right (to the right), lets make this a dance
Flea Market, Washington DC, it keeps you from jumpin
It’s just like, it’s just like a mini-mall
Check it out now, everybody like this now, hey hey
Flea Market, Washington DC
It’s just like, it’s just like, a mini-mall
Conveniently located on the national mall
Don’t stop, lets dance
Flea Market, Washington DC
it’s just like, it’s just like, a mini-mall
Conveniently located on the national mall
(lets break it on down now, aww yeah I know you gunna like this come on now)
It’s just like, (you know what Im saying)
It’s just like, (you know what I mean)
It’s just like,
(you know it, so why don’t you just come on and sing it)
It’s just like, it’s just like, a mini-mall
Convenienetly located on the natonal mall
Aww yeah you said it, it’s just like, it’s just like a mini-mall, aww yeah you like this come on
Flea Market
Washington DC
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