Life and Island Times July 3 2016 – Isaac
Conchs, both saltwater and fresh water, were visited by an Old Testament patriarch back in August 2012. Isaac, יִצְחָק, in the Hebrew Bible was Abraham’s only son. Isaac came without his family. It must have been a boys-only vacation.
A Canaanite by birth and life-long inhabitant of that land of plenty, Isaac finally left his home turf for a short island stay in this southernmost tropical Gomorrah. This 180+ year old man as his name suggests giggled with us a bit as his father Abraham did, when he fell on his face and laughed when apprised of his first son’s eventual birth. Abe laughed mightily because his wife Sarah was well past the age of childbearing.
Isaac must have been told to spare us from his father’s altar of sacrifice on mount Moriah. Instead he tarried a while, sampling from the coral isle’s pleasures while gently trimming back its trees and shrubs.
He did meet some eligible mates here, not named Rebekah. One such was a comely blonde named Sheila, who declaimed in the Chart Room as Isaac strengthened “I need some wieners here!” to a barroom full of salty male sailors. The bartender obliged with a dozen dogs, which our Sheila with fixings of our choice served to one and all.
Isaac was no longer old or blind as he took a long notice of Sheila when she moonwalked about with dogs in hand. Perhaps Isaac liked our conch version of liberty, rejecting the mainland’s slavish devotion to technology and fear.
This prophet asked for suggested libations. He was accommodated with offerings of fine British gin and tonic. He was so delighted that he had two while munching on fresh popcorn and unshelled salted peanuts. Yet his eye implacably approached.
His second drink must have relaxed him so much that he let his storm track drift westerly, avoiding our small ocean speck. Barflies huzzahed him and called him a righteous man. Perhaps Isaac found this island tour so pleasant that he took pity on its followers of asceticism and amoral life.
He allowed them to pass his nomadic tribal leader’s open book test – an ultimate act of mercy. They bade him farewell when they all moved from the Chart Room to the darker pleasures and pool table at Bobby’s Monkey Bar. Isaac likely returned for that year’s Fantasy Fest, A-Conch-alypse. He was mightily interested in its zombie theme.
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