Man Eaters

RSI SOCCER-WORLD/M39-ITA-URU S IT SOC WCUP SPO TPX UY BRA
(World Cup Football is not for herbivores. Photo Rueters).

I as interested to discover that cannibalism is alive and well in the FIFA World Cup. I was sitting in a packed Willow yesterday afternoon around cocktail hour. Old Jim was clearly irritated by the crush of Fish & Wildlife people who kept bumping him as he attempted to drink his long-neck buds.

Worse, the kitchen lost his order for a Cod Slider, though his spirits buoyed as the level of the beverage in the brown long-necked bottles diminished.

I was drinking happy hour white- chardonnay this time rather than sauvignon blanc- and my older boy is in town on business, and he stopped by to have dinner with a couple who I had watched grow up from the age of five.

The Admiral was there, we talked about the restructuring of the military intelligence community after the Cold War when we could hear ourselves talk, and Barrister Jerry regaled us with tales of the Five Guys Hamburger chain, which now has 1100 outlets, up a bit from the original five locations here in suburban DC.

There are four locations now open in London, and lines around the block for the all-American product.

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Jerry went with the Norwegian Salmon, and Robert in the kitchen made it up to Jim by delivering not one but two sliders. In between bites, Jim opined that there was more interest in the World Cup this year than there was when the series was held in America.

In between that, and other wild assertions, we looked at the old-fashioned televisions above the bar. When the cannibalism started, the crowd was riveted.

Uruguay’s Luis Suarez took a chunk out of the shoulder of Italy’s Giorgio Chiellini about a minute before the decisive goal that propelled the Latin American team over the Italians, 1-0.

The ref missed the bite, which apparently was sparked by a cheap shot by Chiellini. Or something. The television showed a clear and distinctive horseshoe pattern on the shoulder, and this is apparently not unusual. Press reports this morning. Earlier in his career, the 27-year-old Suarez was suspended in the Netherlands and England for biting

opponents.

“Not a frigging big surprise,” growled Jim. I heard hundreds of people took odds that he would bite someone in the World Cup.”

After the excitement died down, some wagers on the US-Germany match were advanced. The pivot, of course, was what happens in the event of a draw. There has been discussion that the NATO Allies were going to invoke Article 5, which states that an attack on one is an attack on all. Should the two nations invoke the mutual non-aggression pact and opt to play to a tie, both teams would advance to the next round. Ghana (accused of match fixing) and Portugal (still smarting from the Peninsular Wars) would be eliminated from the second round competition of 16 teams.

Apparently this is considered bad sport, though it makes eminent sense from a political standpoint. Both countries have sharply rejected any suggestions of a deal, just as Germany and Russia did a few years ago before playing Poland to an even division.

I heard this morning they have already paid out $78,000 euros to people who bet Luis would go carnivorous. I know that Americans are going to wind up liking this game.

And speaking of numbers, the Bureau of Labor Standards admitted they sort of screwed up the Gross Domestic Report numbers for the first quarter of this year. It is down not 1%, but almost 3%. I listened hard, but I did not hear anyone mention that Socialism doesn’t seem to work.

Maybe next quarter. This economy is a man-eater, you know?

Copyright 2014 Vic Socotra

www.vicsocotra.com

Twitter: @jayare303

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