(Krispy Kreme-brand hybrid grass flip flops. They help to lower temperatures by creating organic sinks for carbon dioxide and permit the top of the wearer’s feet to tan naturally and evenly).
All the needles were pegged this morning. I had to turn the news-and-weather-on-the-eights streaming off the computer. Even the news that I was not stuck in the lane divide on I-270 with ten thousand other commuters didn’t boost my spirits. I switched over to the all-classical station, which normally serves to sooth the beast.
Not so soothing this morning, though I have to say that it looks like a perfectly serviceable day out there. Summer is here. I have thrown the moccasins of Spring into the closet and pulled out the flip-flops for the rest of the season.
I guess what set it off was a discussion with a former government colleague about the nature of email communications, and the way that things could happen to make a record of official government transactions disappear. There actually is a way that could happen, even though it is highly unlikely. I mean, the same people who lost the hard drive(s) and the data insist that I keep copies of my Goodwill donation receipts for six years on penalty of law, so they must know something about retention.
The law is pretty clear about it, too. Just in case you forgot, here is one of the relevant citations:
44 U.S. Code § 3106 – Unlawful removal, destruction of records
“The head of each Federal agency shall notify the Archivist of any actual, impending, or threatened unlawful removal, defacing, alteration, or destruction of records in the custody of the agency of which he is the head that shall come to his attention, and with the assistance of the Archivist shall initiate action through the Attorney General for the recovery of records he knows or has reason to believe have been unlawfully removed from his agency, or from another Federal agency whose records have been transferred to his legal custody. In any case in which the head of the agency does not initiate an action for such recovery or other redress within a reasonable period of time after being notified of any such unlawful action, the Archivist shall request the Attorney General to initiate such an action, and shall notify the Congress when such a request has been made.”
My buddy laughed. “Words,” he said. “Just words. This is about unlawful destruction. In this case, it is in the interest of the Government for that to happen, so, ipso facto, it is not illegal. If it was, you can be sure that the Attorney General would be all over it.”
I looked at him in amazement. “You are right, of course. My bad.”
Once you get over that whole law and order thing, the situation is fine. I could feel the gauges start to come back down to the safe-to-operate range. Everything is fine, just fine.
Despite what the polls say, I do think that we are pretty well embarked on the whole legacy thing. Another pal chimed in during the usual back-and-forth that you have to go back to the Treaty of Westphalia three centuries ago to get to such a fundamental re-wickering of the international order. That is some sort of achievement, no kidding.
I mean, seriously, this is a tectonic shift in borders and order that erases the consequences of the two Great Wars and the collapse of empires. It sets the stage for a confrontation between the two major sects of a religion that has more than a billion adherents.
What is even cooler is that both sides may have access to nuclear weapons shortly- even if they possibly don’t have them at the moment. The Saudis can borrow one from our pals the Pakis if they need one. The Iranians will gin up one of their own, this year or next.
This is no longer the bi-polar world of the Cold War, in which the bureaucracies of the chilly semi-belligerents had a sort of incentive not to vaporize themselves. This is one with people who mutter about the 12th Imam in public on the one side, and people who think that lopping off heads and arms is appropriate public conduct on the other.
It is not just happening overseas. We appear to have unilaterally opened our borders to anyone with the inclination to come and stay. We have empowered our bureaucracy to basically do whatever it wants. This is fantastic, like I mean, fantastic.
This is beyond cool. I spent all that time in my life worrying about what could happen, sweating the small stuff. Now it is actually happening. We no longer have to worry about anything, because we are actually going to see the consequences of what we have done.
And it is summer, and we don’t have to wear a coat or anything. I don’t think I have had this much fun in my life. Heck, who thought you could wear shorts and flip-flops to the end of civilization, as we knew it?
Unreal, you know? No, wait. It actually is real. Too freaking cool.
Copyright 2014 Vic Socotra
www.vicsocotra.com
Twitter: @jayare303