Our buddy comma Holly at the Amen Corner. Photo Socotra.
“The guys who are looking for the Higgs-Boson may have blown the bottom out of Anthropomorphic-related global warming.” I said, looking at Old Jim over a glass of happy hour white, which was, on this day, a pink rose with a faint but invigorating hint of aeration. Crisp, but white is not red, regardless of what our buddy comma Holly said.
Of course, they tell us a lot of things, and it is often easier to go along. After all, Kevin the Sommelier said it was white, and he is the expert and thus the science of the color was settled.
Comma Holly looked great- she had an interview with the Nursing Department curriculum coordinator earlier in the day, and pulled out all the stops. She wants to be a Nurse Practitioner in a few years, an admirable goal. This evening she was alternating looks as she passed by the Amen Corner of the Willow bar. Sometimes with her lush raven hair pulled back in a ponytail like Elisabeth-with-an-S and sometimes with it cascading down to her shoulders.
“What the hell are you talking about now?” growled Jim.
“You know,” I sighed. “The Higgs boson is a hypothetical massive elementary component that unifies all theories of particle physics. They are using that large Hadron Collider in Geneva to do the experiments.”
“Oh, you mean the CERN at Fermilab,” he said.
“Yeah, there is a lot of stuff going on there. If they don’t create a black hole that will destroy the planet, they are going to get some good work done.”
South Side John leaned over. He was at Willow with Jake to observe Big Jim’s swan-song week behind the bar. He has been the mainstay there since the beginning, a man you can believe in, regardless of what color the happy hour white might be.
“Is this where you recite the Fox News talking points?” he said. “You make a pretense of even handedness, but then you whip out that tired Rupert Murdoch crap.”
“I am honestly a social progressive, John, to a degree. And I despise anyone who had any role in the financial and budget melt down, from Barney Friggin’ Frank and Chris Dodd to Phil Gramm and his scary wife. Cripes, I even support Warren Buffet’s desire to pay more taxes. I think he should just write a check to the US Treasury. But I suppose you mean the CLOUD experiment they did at the CERN.”
“The what?”
“Oh, they claim to have conducted an experiment that demonstrates that solar energy affects cloud cover, which in turn affects temperature.”
“That is why Greenhouse Gas has to be stopped. The science is settled.”
“Yeah, well, science is supposed to never be settled. They seem to have demonstrated that the Svensmark hypothesis is correct, which is to say that when the solar wind is weak like it has been in this cycle, more cosmic rays penetrate to Earth. That creates more charged particles in the atmosphere, which in turn induces more clouds to form, cooling the climate.”
“Oh for Christ sake, where do you get this stuff?”
“Science, man. It would change the models they are using, since they would have to incorporate new algorithms. But like you say, the science is settled and we can’t have any further thinking about it. There is too much at stake to consider anything that doesn’t agree with the existing model.”
“Damn straight,” said Old Jim. “I would never drink anything pink, even if they say it is white.”
“It all depends on the flavor of Kool-aid you like,” I said, and drained the glass of happy hour white.
Tomorrow: Mac turns 92 at the Peking Gourmet, with Purple Dragons.
Copyright 2011 Vic Socotra
www.vicsocotra.com