(President Warren Gamaliel Harding. Widely known as one of the worst presidents, and certainly the worst from Ohio, his “make no enemies” campaign strategy made him the compromise choice for the GOP nomination in 1920. He promised a return to “normalcy,” whatever that might be, and encouraged an “America first” campaign focused on jobs and a strong economy independent of foreign influence. He won in a landslide and rewarded friends and political hacks of “the Ohio Gang,” many of whom wound up in prison for bribery or fraud. Everyone said he was a swell guy, though, and made few enemies. Photo Wikipedia)
“I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies in a fight. But my friends, my goddamned friends, they’re the ones who keep me walking the floor at nights!”
– Quote – President Warren Gamaliel Harding
The rains came late in the afternoon- all water and no thunder in Arlington, anyway. Sheets of water, like God wrung out the heavens like a soaked hand-towel. The skies cleared and the temperature and humidity came down as the front moved East, and I did not have to make the hard choice about driving the block over to Willow to avoid getting wet.
People are still moving slow, wrung out in our own way by the heat wave, but the crowd at the bar rallied over time. Old Jim is getting his strength back, and Jake was having a business meeting down the bar and a couple assorted Colleagues anchored the Amen Corner. Elisabeth-with-an-S and our buddy Holly held down the business side of the liquor franchise.
The talk was about politics, and John-with-an-H’s hernia.
“There are too many people in hospital lately,” I said. “Thank God Mac is back home. I wonder how long it will be until John-with is going to be back in battery?”
Old Jim scowled. “The broken ribs didn’t hold me back,” he growled, and gestured at Elisabeth for reinforcement Budweiser. “If you don’t have any real friends you may as well come here. At least I know who is irritating.”
We are nothing if not eclectic at the Amen Corner and the conversation lurched off into an exploration of the many things that come as irritants, which these days includes the budget ceiling.
“The Republicans are getting painted into a corner. They keep proposing hard things and the President says they want to screw Grandma and fly around in corporate jets without once offering a constructive solution.”
“That is not true,” said Old Jim. “He says he will eliminate a trillion dollars in fraud and waste from entitlements.”
“Well, if it’s true there is that much fraud and waste, wouldn’t you do that anyway? He is going to be on the television tonight. I guess it is getting serious.”
“You cannot do this without making enemies,” said my colleague. “The one who looks nicest is going to get credit for the win, when it happens.” She looked doubtful. “If it happens.”
“Bobby Ray Inman had a saying about that,” I said. “Never make an enemy lightly in this town, but it you do, make sure you kill them.”
(Bobby Ray Inman and his vivacious wife Nancy at the Baker Award Dinner earlier this year. Photo Socotra.)
“Wow! Great quote,” said a young representative from a competing company. “Who was Bobby Inman?”
“He wound up as Deputy Director of CIA after being Director of Naval Intelligence, Vice Director of DIA and Director of NSA,” I said. “He is a legend to all of the Navy spooks. He always thought a couple moves ahead of everyone else and was the first Spook to make four stars- a full Admiral.”
“Send me the quote, would you?” I nodded and made a note to myself on a napkin, and then drafted a non-disclosure agreement about a potential business venture on another.
My Colleague tucked the latter in her purse and I tucked the reminder in the inside pocket of my seersucker jacket. The amount of Happy Hour white wine consumed and time remaining to get in the Big Pink pool for a decent swim arrived just after seven, and I wandered back to the office to collect the car and get home.
The torrent of rain had cooled the waters and Martin the Polish lifeguard looked relieved at the moderation of the temperature. He has been cooking in his own juices on the deck for the last week. I listened to my iPod while I paddled, the device protected by a waterproof case on my arm. The nice people on NPR said that the President would be along presently, and I was toweling off as his address from the Oval Office commenced as Martin padlocked the pool deck for the night.
I listened to both versions of reality with mild disbelief. I mean, nothing should surprise me any more, but this little psycho-drama is pretty surreal. Mr. Obama had some nice rhetorical flourishes, using standard English instead of that shuck-and-jive thing he does when he is trying to convince us he is just folks. A key point appears to be to get the next debt ceiling increase beyond the 2012 election.
Then, Speaker Boehner came on and trashed the chief executive, and wants the crisis to continue through the election cycle. I shook my head. We cannot afford the Democrats, and we cannot afford the Republicans, either. Something has got to give, but I don’t know what. I poured a drink, turned off the radio, went out on the balcony and wondered why I had never got cushions for the hard wood of the Adirondack chair and eventually went to bed.
When I rose at five, I looked at the napkins in the pile next to the computer. I searched a bunch of sources for the Inman quote. And could not find it. I did find its eventual patrimony, since it appears to be a modification of this traditional wisdom:
“If you’re going to shoot the king, don’t miss”
I had to think about John Kennedy, sadly, since we have been investigating that sorry moment in American History of late, with an emphasis on the Texas accent of the man who replaced him.
That phrase, in turn, has evolved from the words of Niccolò Machiavelli (1469-1527). who wrote in the seminal political primer The Prince: “Never do an enemy a small injury.” If one is striking out at an opponent, one should make sure that the fatal blow is struck, successfully ending the confrontation.
Machiavelli was of the opinion that “the injury that is to be done to a man ought to be of such a kind that one does not stand in fear of revenge,” and I can’t say I disagree with him.
A well-known anecdote in the literature (cited since at least 1882) concerns an ambitious young academic who wrote an essay criticizing Plato (like Plato could care at that point), and sent it to legendary poet and wordsmith Ralph Waldo Emerson for comment. Emerson found the logic in the essay less than compelling, and returned it with the red-pen remark: “When you strike (at) a king you must kill him.”
It has passed into the popular lexicon from there, normally beginning “If you shoot at the king” or “If you’re going to shoot the king” or “If you aim at the king.” The ending “you must kill him” is often replaced with “you better make sure he’s dead,” or “don’t miss.”
(Noted bartender, Lawyer and Public Policy aspirant, Elisabeth with an S. Photo Socotra.)
It is a popular adage with politicians, lawyers and bartenders. I would have to ask Elisabeth about that- she is the only person I know who is trying to do all three.
The saying has often been applied to politicians seeking to change the leadership in his or her political party. Like Eric Cantor, who apparently views Speaker Boehner as a hood ornament to his intransigent agenda. It is normally a high-risk strategy, since if the “king” is not “killed,” the party leaders will seek revenge. Everyone in this saga appears ready to make some enemies, and force the opponents into corners. The hope on both sides appears to be for the destruction of the other in the public opinion, yet they are all still going to be standing even if the government shuts its doors.
Time is running out, the lines drawn in the sand, and somebody has to blink this week and make nice, or we have the train-wreck.
Bobby Ray’s version of the wisdom, I recall, is uttered with a Texas drawl. It will be interesting to see how this all turns out, don’t you think? I wonder what Warren Harding would do? Like Speaker Boehner, he was from Ohio.
Copyright 2011 Vic Socotra
www.vicsocotra.com