Things appear to be spinning out of control here in the National Capitol Region. Can it be the extended visit of this hard, cold winter?
Has it driven people mad?
The number of recent odd and violent events is startling . A pal was assaulted at a popular local night spot in the Clarendon Neighborhood Saturday night. It started with an unprovoked punch to the kidney, and concluded with a beer-bottle to the head that required five stitches to close. I commented on the pert “Hello Kitty” band-aid that covered the wound when I saw it yesterday, and Jon-Without said we ought to start calling the club the Clarendon Brawl Room.
I took a sip of my vodka and diet tonic (almost swim suit season again, after all) and marveled at the events of the day. Senior Executive Jerry was conducting his quarterly inspection of the Willow Bar, and had found both glasses of the red that Jasper slid in front of him to be well up to snuff. Old Jim pronounced his Budweiser to be cold and within the standard deviation for exceptional taste.
Jerry said that he still couldn’t get his mind wrapped around the deliberate crash of the German Airbus. “How could the doctor have given the note telling him not to fly to the kid, and not to the airline that employed him? What is the matter with him?”
There was general agreement that something was wrong with the system, and I said that News and Weather on the Eights had told me the identity of the surviving attacker on the gate at Fort George Gordon Meade. “His name is supposed to be Kevin Fleming, and he reportedly has a long criminal record. He and his buddy had a gun and both were wearing dresses and wigs.”
“That is just bizarre,” said Jon-without. And then he fished out a paper from the inside pocket of his well-tailored jacket. “I got an email from Liz-with-an-S yesterday. Apparently we are becoming an institution. This is from a Yelp review of Willow.” He unfolded it and pushed the sheet down the bar and Jim and I looked at it:
“This is a small bar and restaurant with a “unique” older crowd who seem to be regulars here for happy hour during the week. The bar area is somewhat small but each time I’ve been, the other customers made room for me and my party to squeeze in…”
I looked over at Jim and he growled back : “I agree with the old part.”
“I don’t mind unique. The Amen Corner is all of that. We seem friendly , according to the review .” Jim shrugged, and we went back to doing what we do best at the apex of the bar. It was a quiet evening, and the daylight lasts past the time we all toddle home, so a nice quiet day with nothing weird or crazy or plane loony.
That didn’t happen until the next morning.
I was sitting at the computer looking blankly at the screen as the light came up . I was streaming News and Weather, since they tend to avoid the political stuff that makes me crazy. Instead, they reported real craziness. The Culpeper cops had killed a man who was walking in circles in the middle of the road by the big-box Lowe’s hardware store where I foolishly shopped before discovering (to late) the wonders of Clarke’s Hardware downtown. Apparently the man had not reacted well to the appearance of the gendarmes and broke one of their noses. In the ensuing melee the police tased him into submission, and the 30-year-old expired on the way to the hospital.
Why circles in the middle of the road? Why would anyone in their right mind take a swing at an armed cop?
Then the major lunacy was announced in breathless terms. A man named Wasson Assaye was being held in on Federal bank-robbery charges in Alexandria. He made some threats that he was going to harm himself and had been taken from Alexandria to the Fairfax InoVA Hospital for psyche evaluation. He was being minded by two armed private guards, not the regular police for reasons best known to the justice system.
In a sudden move, he wrestled a gun from one of them, fired a shot to get everyone to hit the deck, which they did with alacrity, and Wasson disappeared down the hall with his gown flapping, barefoot.
Out in the parking lot he car-jacked a lady’s Camry and took off. At the same time there was an unrelated high-speed chase down the Fairfax County Parkway that added to confusion, and a heavy law enforcement presence that really screwed up the morning commute.
As the morning rolled on, the police discovered the Camry abandoned in Annandale, just down the road from Big Pink . Wasson by now had somehow obtained real clothing and shoes, and carjacked another ride, this one a Hyundai Alantra.
I typed that like I actually knew what one of them looked like. So far no one has been reported hurt, but there are police helicopters swarming, and I realized that my dental appointment this afternoon is in Annandale.
Crap. I am going to have to actually be alert today.
This sudden increase of brawling and chaos must be related to something. Maybe it is the weather. The only other explanation I can think of is that all these people are somehow related to the Iranian atomic negotiations team.
It is the only thing that makes sense.
Copyright 2015 Vic Socotra
www.vicsocotra.com
Twitter: @jayare303