(The Compliance Department submitted a new diagram demonstrating full support to Building Back America Better. They explained that although things were better before the Government shut everything down, we need to get closer to net-zero emissions, putting on coats when the climate alters, changing our behavior to accommodate inexperienced Amazon Prime deliveries, and hoping none of them run over the feral cat who has claimed ownership of the lower portion of the circular gravel drive. We agree this will inevitably enhance our collective well-being and inclusivity, unless someone tells us to change the sign on the lawn out front).
We watched the morning media with interest. The President’s Press Conference had some problems, but as Socotra House noted, it was a triumph mostly limited to the fact that the Leader of the Free World was able to find his scripted answers to scripted questions in generally the right order. As an old school American, my sense of fairness had to applaud his performance. Still, the stilted nature of the responses left me with a feeling that he does not recall much about the bold, dynamic future he promises to accomplish by “doing a lot.”
Speaking only for myself, that is where the senses start to slip sideways. I hate the new editorial meetings. There are two clear factions in the Boardroom. Granted that is many fewer than there normally are before the Compliance and Legal staffs have been cleared from the room. Then, senior staff wrestled with new Footnotes to demonstrate our commitment to building a better America. After the door closed, some implacable deviance to new truth was revealed. We are taking steps to crush it, though the forward cadre is a bit confused on how to do it. Or where it is going.
A variety of issues came up. One of them was a discussion of the Air Force. One of our most forward leaning young members announced that the corps of pilots selected to operate the most sophisticated jets on earth represented the legacy of a class of people who had experience in private aviation. This is clearly a direct effort to perpetuate a patriarchal system based on race (someone tried “talent” and “desire” and was rightly shouted down). Accordingly, we unified in our commitment to a new selection process that would ensure equity in our flight-rated personnel. We know that a proper race and gender balance airborne will ensure peace. And probably victory, since our opponents are trapped in social models that value raw talent, aggressive spirit, and effective training. We are confident that “equity” will ensure favorable outcomes, since even those sworn to destroy us must value the same just principles.
Or something. We do know we know we can control who gets into our cockpits. We know we can redesign life support systems to accommodate the needs of a more equitably construed cadre. Bigger lap-belts. Flight suits that can accommodate all the needs of all the people we need to defend our nation in an equitable manner.
There was trouble once the military implications were raised. Someone mentioned a new Equity Officer had been appointed to oversee the Special Operations Forces. Based on the somewhat ponderous nature of the military machine, Presidents as far back as John F. Kennedy supported the formation of smaller but incredibly lethal forces in the field. The new program is to harness that prodigious force and deploy it with a more appropriate balance of educational correctness and proper understanding of the New Future. One of our older loading-dock people stopped bagging the trash at the rear of the room. He uses insensitive pronouns and did so. He said he could not give a good galdarn Coney Island hotdog about that. The question was whether the balanced, correct force could kick in a door and clear a house filled with armed wrong-thinkers.
He was escorted from the room and off the property with the hope he would not come back with others like him to kick in our doors.
We are going to “build back better,” or at least not get caught at what we are really doing. We are committed to that. But one of the older members of the staff lost his notecards and looked blankly across the neatly folded green baize atop the table. He/she appeared to be looking for an ashtray. Or a slide-rule. “Didn’t we have a growing economy with narrowed wage disparity, improved performance for all our diverse population, and relative peace?”
“Yes. It had to be stopped. We must build back better once the emergency declaration restrictions are lifted.”
“What are those, and when will that be?”
Of course there was no answer to that, although some mutterings continued around the table. One was plainly disloyal, like “We follow CDC guidelines, mostly, because they make sense. But there are people driving around alone in their cars with masks on so they can’t see.”
“Individual choice in driving will be eliminated. Just follow the rules.”
There was an uneasy silence for a moment, since the call for a new FDR-style national makeover is based on something really important, though we were uncertain exactly what that was. If surviving the plague isn’t good enough to make us feel better, what is?
“FDR had to fix an out-of-control collapsing economy. These steps are necessary. The Experts tell us so.”
“But it wasn’t collapsing until they made us collapse it. Things were pretty good.”
Our Chairman, Vic Socotra nodded slowly and smiled. “We are determined build back better, and hence follow the equitable redistribution of the national treasure to the victims of systemic oppression.” Then he gave one of those crooked smiles and took a sip of something amber from a glass in front of him. He has been a bit tiresome since smoking was banned indoors.
“If the country was that bad, why is it that all these people keep crashing our border to get in?”
“They are not crashing. That would be wrong. We are welcoming. We have to fix the world’s problems before we can truly begin to fix our own.”
There was some confused agreement around the table, since no one wanted to be called cave-people who cannot imagine a better world. And lose their jobs. At length another uneasy silence fell upon the room. The consensus appeared to be that there was no crisis any of us were aware of, except those nasty Tweets, but saying so could get you exiled into some unusual extended house arrest. Or worse. Silence was a better approach to massive change that no one seemed to be able to articulate.
“We will build it back better,” said the Chairman with an upbeat positive declaration. “We will just have to do it back behind the loading dock where nobody sees what we are doing.”
With that, smiles broke out around the table, and someone suggested ordering someone junior to go out and get a load of life-affirming donuts.
Someone else wondered if we were going to publish anything, or just let it hang. Socotra smiled. “Run Marlow’s piece.”
Copyright 2021 Vic Socotra
www.vicsocotra.com