From Marlow: During our 27th consecutive road trip to this year’s Army-Navy game two weeks ago, we oldsters recalled annual Christmas traditions that we and others had experienced. Some were touching. Others had pop culture connections from our, our children’s and grandchildren’s youth. Some were funny. Some were creepy. Here are my notes on those that bear sharing.
Singing “Happy Birthday” to Jesus when they got up
Themed Secret Santa gift exchange for the adults
Watching Elf, It’s a Wonderful Life, Christmas Vacation, Muppet Christmas Carol. Bad Santa, Holiday Inn, Christmas Story, Scrooge, The Grinch . . .
Eating and drinking enough for 19 people
Adults sitting by ourselves late on Christmas night talking about those we miss
Recently – lamenting failed Novembers and bitching about cable news programs
Extended family Christmas dinners
Volunteering to feed the hungry and clothe the homeless
An ode to Eddie Murphy — wishing Merry New Year to unsuspecting strangers on the street and in stores
No one mentioned exercising on Christmas day. I don’t know why.
Going to church services
No one mentioned spending the holidays with their wife in Paris.
Calling the cops after the annual canned cranberry jelly vs cookbook cranberry sauce debate and throw-down occur.
One new one was mentioned — handing out Chuck E. Cheese tokens to people on the streets while telling them they’re Bitcoins
Streaking through a friend’s condo association Christmas party
Elf on the Shelf – either it’s a troubling sign of the deep state surveillance system or good modern parenting. Either would be utterly American.
Voting on which holiday song is the sexiest – Baby It’s Cold Outside or Santa Baby
Creepy Santa dolls/figurines from the 60s
Nonstop Christmas music on the radio beginning the week after Halloween
Eating cream cheese wrapped in bologna. This tradition from one of my friend’s uncle is nauseating.
Alle-mew-yah!
Special tree ornaments from long ago
Singing carols
Driving through neighborhoods with holiday lighting dsiplays
Live nativities
Sitting our children on the lap of a bearded seasonal worker
Mistletoe at the holiday office parties of various Washington DC beltway intelligence agencies. Ish.
Merry Christmas, all y’all.
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