El Guapo

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Man, the farm is sort of like a narcotic. I waded through another in the excellent series of NFL playoff games as I scanned old color slides from Raven’s extensive collection. This particular slide carousel contained evidence of a trip to London and Brussels conducted, according to the time stamps on the back of the little cardboard square, in the summer of 1968.

I stayed awake with the Christmas lights on one last time until nearly midnight, and I slept it was heavy and right through the alarm.

That made me late to an ongoing discussion of the schisms in the conservative side of the aisle, and then a vigorous discussion of the lunacy that masquerades as fiscal policy. I concluded that the Mises school of thought- that hyperinflation is the logical outcome of all the central bankers of the world having taken leave of their senses- with this admonition:

“I have been covering my bets with commodities to balance the securities in the 401k and IRA. Ammunition, silver and guns seem to be solid investments as part of a balanced portfolio.”

But it was way too much absorb with the endless coverage of those traffic cones on the George Washington Bridge. Plus, I was a little blurry from a life-altering discovery, which still had me both invigorated and fortified.

Naturally I am talking about the little jug of El Guapo British Colonial Style Tonic Syrup that arrived in the mail a few days ago, and which I took for a test-drive during the football game.

This was a big deal for a creature of long established habit such as myself. I will confess to a fondness for whiskey-and-branch (7&7 in a pinch) when the weather is crisp. Most other times of the year I enjoy a stadium tumbler of crushed ice with a generous dollop of pedestrian vodka augmented with a few fingers of Schweppervessent diet tonic water and finished with a dash of Nellie & Joe’s Key West lime juice for tart goodness.

It is a delightful drink to have at poolside or on the patio at Big Pink, or grilling out on the deck at Refuge Farm.

I was surfing through Bourbon and Boots in between Payton Manning TDs- http://www.bourbonandboots.com/ – a vendor that specializes in “authentic southern gifts and novelties.” It is an entertaining enterprise, and do not take themselves too seriously. I have purchased a few items from them, including the sheath-knife forged from a high-carbon content railroad spike that is quite handsome.

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Anyway, their advertising includes an eclective variety of southern foodstuffs, none of which I buy, but which stimulate a certain culinary whimsy when I feel like cooking. Looking through the latest set of offerings, I saw that they were marketing some bitters and such from a company called “el Guapo.”

The company is from New Orleans, and their product line includes several offerings of aromatic bitters, which I occasionally have used as a change of pace from the limejuice in my vodka. Angostura bitters is the only brand with which I was familiar, being a creature of habit, but this blurb seemed interesting:

BRITISH COLONIAL STYLE TONIC SYRUP – 16.5 oz

The blurb went like this: “This tonic was created through much research of classic recipes from a time when tonic was for more than just flavor.

As you know, the original tonics came from the days of the Pax Brittanica and the British Raj on the Indian sub-continent. The tonics were created using cinchona bark, as it was the source of quinine. It’s purpose? To prevent malaria!

The trouble was that quinine is extremely bitter. With that in mind, sugar was added for sweetness and citrus added for tartness. In addition, other herbs and spices made it into various recipes that one could sip at the Club or with the Mem Sahib under the languorous ceiling fan while combatting the dread disease of the tropics.

The company went on to explain that “Through research of those original recipes, we offer this for your drinking pleasure. Is this what tonic tasted like “way back when”? It is close if not dead on accurate. AND IT IS DELICIOUS!”

I clicked on the icon and bought a bottle, thinking I could magnify the full-bodied tonic taste without having to use a lot of it out of the bottle. “Full of fresh bright citrus and slightly floral flavors with a lingering but pleasant bitterness. This is what your gin and tonic was meant to taste like!”

Ingredients in the concoction were plain enough: Cane sugar, cinchona bark (quinine), limes, lemons, grapefruits, oranges, lemongrass, ginger, grains of paradise, & a few other secret herbs & spices.

The box arrived without incident and Rhonda the Chief Concierge propped the box up by the back door. Arriving intact is always a factor with goods in glass purchased on the web. I will not trouble you with the disaster of the case of Pond Hill Farms Unrefined Honey, which still has me distraught.

The cap of the tonic bottle was sealed with real wax, which I peeled off as I packed a short glass with ice and splashed in a couple fingers of Popov Brand industrial vodka. I uncapped the el Guapo and followed their recommendations- they said the liquid was “highly concentrated and very thick to give you the best value as well as the best flavor on the market.”

By proportion, I added 1/2 of an ounce of Tonic Syrup, and then splashed about 3 ounces of sparkling mineral water on top and stirred. I raised the glass and realized this was a real winner. The concentrated flavor bucked like a bronco, and was not watery as many V&T (G&T if you swing that way with Bombay Sapphire or some other) come in a highball glass.

I had a couple while I digitized the 70 slides from Raven’s trip to London and the Continent, he being younger than I in the pictures. Handsome guy, he was. The images had not seen the light of a projector (much less day) since he got back and had them developed 44 years ago. I saved them all on the memory card and uploaded them onto the laptop at the Farm, having another drink or two as the football game droned on in the background.

The el Guapo was so effective that I have sort of lost track of what directory the pictures all wound up in. Maybe now that morning has come, I might be able to find them again. In the meantime, the staff of the Daily Socotra is effusive in praise of the British Colonial Style Tonic Syrup, a product that may very well have changed our collective lives.

“Now available in 2 sizes: 8.5oz bottle – (up to 32 servings) 16.5oz bottle – (up to 64 servings) $19.99.” Oh, by the way, El Guapo is owned by a Marine, and he donates 10% to the Wounded Warrior organization.

I wish the stuff came by the drum… “OUR BITTERS ARE ON AMAZON.COM & BOURBONANDBOOTS.COM”

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Copyright 2014 Vic Socotra
www.vicsocotra.com <http://www.vicsocotra.com>
Twitter: @jayare303

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