{"id":3083,"date":"2012-05-22T18:40:42","date_gmt":"2012-05-22T18:40:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/?p=3083"},"modified":"2012-05-22T18:42:20","modified_gmt":"2012-05-22T18:42:20","slug":"elisabeth-in-white","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/elisabeth-in-white\/","title":{"rendered":"Elisabeth in White"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"
\n(Liz-S and Old Jim at the Amen Corner. Liz-S is in white and Jim is not commenting on what happened in Vegas. Photo Socotra.)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I stopped by Willow on the way home- duh, you know? The crew was reassembled. I can\u2019t tell you what Old Jim and Mary did in Vegas- I wouldn\u2019t ask and naturally he wouldn\u2019t tell- but he was once more at his accustomed seat. He has had a haircut and the travel (and whatever) in Vegas seemed to agree with him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He was filled with piss-and-vinegar, recharged and reloaded. I was relegated to the stool three places down from the apex of the Amen Corner on the long side of the bar.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Liz-S was in a white blouse, a remarkable change from the black leotard top in which management likes to have the bar staff attired. \u201cYou look great,\u201d I said. \u201cSometimes I can\u2019t tell if I am at a bar or a dance recital. Congratulations- what was the first day like at a real job?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I had to try hard to look interested.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDeath by PowerPoint,\u201d she said. \u201cAnd the other people at orientation were stunned, too, but they responded by going to sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAt least you can wear what you want,\u201d I said. \u201cSo long as it is professional.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Jon-without-H looked a little embarrassed as he sat next to The Lovely Bea. \u201cYou noticed that I have no bow-tie,\u201d he said. \u201cI was professional all day.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSome of them were distinctly casual,\u201d said Liz-S. \u201cI just tried to look businesslike and engaged. It was hard though.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d growled Jim.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, first they handed out paper copies of all the briefings.\u201d She handed over a copy, printed out in the PowerPoint format that enables you to take notes on each slide.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt looks like you could copy the whole briefing in the notes section verbatim,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah. That was bad enough, but then they read each slide to us.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cUgh. I hate that,\u201d I said, looking happily at the white wine that had appeared before me. Jerry the Barrister came in and sat next to me. I greeted him, and shouted over John-with-and-H to Liz-S. \u201cDid you hear Jerry\u2019s story about the LSAT?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, what was it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Jerry chuckled and looked at the Willow Menu. \u201cWell, he was in Saigon, and starting to make his plans for returning to civilian life. He thought he would take the legal aptitude test and signed up for a session on the 30th of January, 1968.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Jim guffawed. \u201cHe took the LSAT during the Vietnamese Tet Offensive?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d said Jerry. \u201cI didn\u2019t do so well. They were running airstrikes on VC positions a couple blocks away.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOMG,\u201d said Liz-S. \u201cThat is a challenge to the mental process needed to think through tough legal problems.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGreat excuse for not doing very well. The Professor at Case Western Reserve said it was the best he ever heard. Much better than the dog and homework.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHah!\u201d laughed Liz-S. \u201cThat is certainly better than mine. Speaking of dogs, they taught us how to deal with Service Animals in our orientation today.\u201d She fished in the large portfolio marked with the official logo of the Inspector General\u2019s Office at the Government Association of Office and Associations. She handed me a brochure.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I looked at it in wonder. It was a fancy tri-fold titled \u2018Guide to Etiquette and Behavior for Communicating and Working with Individuals With Disabilities at the GAofO&A.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cImpressive,\u201d I said. \u201cThey have an Office of Diversity and Inclusion?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Liz-S nodded. \u201cIt is comprehensive, and shows you how to act with compassion even if you don\u2019t have any.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat is my government, all right,\u201d I said reading along.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMine too,\u201d Said John-with. \u201cSadistic bastards.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I read down the column of bullets on how to deal with our fellow citizens. \u201cDo not be overly concerned about your usage of common and accepted expressions such as \u201cSee you later,\u201d or, \u201cdid you hear about that.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell, if you wrote it the vision-challenged wouldn\u2019t be offended,\u201d growled Jim.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd if you said it, the aurally-challenged probably wouldn\u2019t mind,\u201d I concluded. \u201cThis is pretty amazing stuff.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt is through the looking glass sometimes,\u201d said Jerry, ordering an Alpine flatbread.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s an homage to the old Alpine restaurant up at Glebe and Lee Highway,\u201d I said. \u201cThey are closed now. It has calamari on it. It\u2019s good.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDid you see the part about Service Dogs? You are not supposed to touch a Service Dog without permission.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt is easy to get rattled. Remember when all those blind people came to dinner last week? That was pretty amazing. I tried to help one guy up the stairs outside and he about bit my head off.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPeople are sensitive. Service Animals are working animals and you shouldn\u2019t distract them.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThey are not pets, you know,\u201d said Liz-S. \u201cMaybe you should think about a Service Animal while you have the bad leg.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI would like a Service Pony,\u201d I said. \u201cOne of those little guys that I could ride around on at the office.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBe respectful.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI am still amazed at you having an Office of Inclusion,\u201d I said. \u201cThat seems to be the perfect definition of non-essential personnel. You know, the ones who are not supposed to report to the office when the idiots in the Executive Branch and Congress shut down the government again this summer.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah. I often wondered about that,\u201d said John-With. \u201cDoesn\u2019t it mean by definition that they are non-essential? Why are they on the payroll to begin with?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBe nice,\u201d I said. \u201cIf you are, I might let you touch my Service Pony.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When the Alpine flatbread arrived, the Barrister allowed as how it was too spicy. Liz-S ordered a Willow Burger, and specified it be cooked \u2018well done.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was. And by the time she picked her way through it, I realized I was, too.<\/p>\n

\"\"
\n(Jerry-the-B thought the Alpine was too spicy. The rest of us thought it was pretty good. This is the last slice.)<\/p>\n

Copyright 2012 Vic Socotra
\nwww.vicsocotra.com<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(Liz-S and Old Jim at the Amen Corner. Liz-S is in white and Jim is not commenting on what happened in Vegas. Photo Socotra.)   I stopped by Willow on the way home- duh, you know? The crew was reassembled. I can\u2019t tell you what Old Jim and Mary did in Vegas- I wouldn\u2019t ask […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3083","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daily-socotra"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3083","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3083"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3083\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3086,"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3083\/revisions\/3086"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3083"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3083"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3083"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}