![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/LIT102821.jpg\")
<\/p>\nEditor\u2019s Note: Marlow chimes in this morning about the extraordinary events in Your Nation\u2019s Capital. He manages his usual comprehensive approach. With the discussion of COP26 at the heart of this morning\u2019s meeting, Marlow sets the stage for the events which will transpire in the Virginia Governor\u2019s Race, the conference in Glasgow, and another dozen issues. Enjoy!<\/p>\n
– Vic<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Early today PresBid walked into Capitol Hill\u2019s front door.<\/p>\n
PresBid: \u201cGood Morning.\u201d<\/p>\n
House Speaker: \u201cGood morning, Mr. President. Welcome to the US House of Representatives\u2019 Legislation Emporium!\u201d<\/p>\n
PresBid: \u201cAh, thankyou my good Madame Speaker.\u201d<\/p>\n
House Speaker: \u201cWhat can I do for you?\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cWell, I was, uh, sitting at the Resolute Desk in the White House on Pennsylvania Avenue just now preparing for my COP26 do-nothing boondoggle, skimming through the first IPCC studies on mankind\u2019s gaseous frying of the world, and I suddenly was overcome by a certain peckishness.\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cPeckish, Mr. President?\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cIn a quite greedy way.\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: (Oh lord.)<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cI\u2019m all hungry-like.\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cAh, hungry!\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cIn a nutshell — I thought to myself, some barely fermented, curdly, unexamined legislating will do the trick, so, I curtailed my climating activities, sallied forth, and infiltrated your halls of confusion to negotiate the passing of some cheesy social legislation.\u201d (whispered off to the side behind his raised hand \u2013 \u201cI\u2019d settle for even a frame work of such.\u201d)<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cCome again?\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cI want you to get something done here for me.\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cOh, I thought you were complaining about your VP\u201d (off to the side also behind her raised hand, \u201cWe call her Giggles up here, you know.\u201d To which PB snorts a barely stifled chortle.)<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cOh, heaven forbid. I want some delights for our countrymen and women and those who remain uncertain as to their gender(s) and assorted pronouns.\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cSorry?\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cOoo, I\u2019d like a nice bill!\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cMost certainly!\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cNow then, some legislation, please, my good woman.\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: (lustily) \u201cCertainly, Mr. President. What would you like?\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cWell, eh, how about two years of free college?\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cI’m, a-fraid we’re fresh out of that, Sir.\u201d<\/p>\n
PS: \u201cOh, never mind, how are you on three months of family leave?\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cI’m afraid we\u2019ll never have that by the end of this week, sir, we might get some of it in fresh on some Monday in mid-2025.\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cRats. No matter. Well, my steadfast unwrinkly woman, four years of free dental, vision and hearing care, if you please.\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cAh! No can do, sir. It’s beeeen on back order for decades by that Vermont Bolshie. Was expecting it this morning. Once again, not here.\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cNot my lucky day, is it? Aah, CO2 taxes?\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cSorry, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cCoal phase out?\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cNormally, Sir, yes. Last week that broke down.\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cAh. Nationwide EV charge stations?\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cSorry.\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cSALT limit repeal?\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cBillionaire tax?\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cYGTBSM, Sir.\u201d<\/p>\n
(PB goes on to ask about another two dozen items with the HS repeatedly saying: \u201cuh uh.\u201d)<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cRoads, bridges, rails, airports, perhaps?\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cAh! We have them, Yessir.\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: (surprised as always) \u201cYou do! Excellent.\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cYessir. It’s ah… it’s a bit dicey that our your party\u2019s members don\u2019t want them unless all the other off-the-books and unconstitutional things come along with them.\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: (hopping about, clapping his hands while wildly smiling) \u201cOh, I\u2019d like them too.\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cWell, . . . that’s not very funny, actually, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cNo matter. Fetch hither those tasty roads, bridges, rails and air and sea ports that all of us desire! Mmmwah!\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cI . . . think our members don\u2019t find them entertaining or like them without the others one bit, Sir.\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cI don’t care how f*cking unfunny they think they are. Vote those things and hand them over to me with all deliberate speed, Madame Speaker.\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cOooooooooohhh……..\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cWhat now?\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cSomeone with a name I can\u2019t pronounce has hidden them away.\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: (pause) \u201cHas he? She? It?\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cShe, Sir.\u201d<\/p>\n
(pause)<\/p>\n
(PB lists another seven desired tax and spend items to which HS responds \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cYou . . . do have something for me, don’t you?\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: (brightly) \u201cOf course, Sir. We\u2019re a legislature shop, sir. We’ve got\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cNo, no . . . don’t tell me. I wanna guess. I love being right.\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cFair enough.\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cUuuuuh, Cap-n-Trade?\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cAh, well, I’ll have that!\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cOh! I thought you were talking to me, Sir. Captain Horse Trade, that’s my secret Hill nickname.\u201d<\/p>\n
(pause)<\/p>\n
(After another dozen asks and \u201cNo\u201d responses.)<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cI see. Uh . . . A CR, eh?\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cRight, Sir.\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cAll right. Okay. Have you got one?\u201d (He asks, expecting the answer ‘no’.)<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cI’ll have a look, sir. . . nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno.\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cIt’s not much of a legislature, is it?\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cFinest on the Hill, Sir!\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: (annoyed) \u201cExplain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cWell, name me one piece that has your name on it from the other hallway, Sir?\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cIt was certainly a place uncontaminated by original thoughts during my time there.\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: (brightly) \u201cYou haven’t asked me about the Defense Department bills, Sir.\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cWould it be worth it?\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cCould be.\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cHave you?\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cThought I warned you Sir . . .\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: (slowly) \u201cHave you got any appropriation bills?\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cFigures. Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place . . . . . . . Tell me.\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cYessir?\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: (deliberately) \u201cHave you in fact got any passed bills here at all?\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cYes, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cReally?\u201d<\/p>\n
(pause)<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cNo. Not really, Sir.\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cYou haven’t.\u201d<\/p>\n
HS: \u201cNo sir. Not a one. I wasn\u2019t deliberately wasting your time, Sir.\u201d<\/p>\n
PB: \u201cWell, I’m sorry. What a senseless waste of time and human life.\u201d<\/p>\n
PresBid and the House Speaker abruptly and stiffly turn and exit via opposite stage directions.<\/p>\n
Copyright \u00a9 2021 From My Aisle Seat
\nwww.vicsocotra.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Editor\u2019s Note: Marlow chimes in this morning about the extraordinary events in Your Nation\u2019s Capital. He manages his usual comprehensive approach. With the discussion of COP26 at the heart of this morning\u2019s meeting, Marlow sets the stage for the events which will transpire in the Virginia Governor\u2019s Race, the conference in Glasgow, and another dozen […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22364","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-island-times"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22364","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22364"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22364\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22366,"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22364\/revisions\/22366"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22364"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22364"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22364"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}