![\"070717-LIT1\"](\"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/070717-LIT1.jpg\")
<\/p>\nEditor’s Note: I love the way Marlow thinks.<\/p>\n
– Vic<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I saw and quickly read the short satirical children’s book for adults at a Beaufort SC book store this week. All My Friends Are Dead was a dark humor version of the short, sweet children’s books that were popular 20 years ago. Thus amused, the following resulted.<\/p>\n
An aging me: “All my friends are dead or dying. That’s why I wear black a lot. It saves time, which is in short supply these days.”<\/p>\n The departed ones, who look down on those of us who are still living, thinking: “Jerks.”<\/p>\n Mastodon: “All my friends are long dead.”<\/p>\n The bulging yogurt cup in my fridge: “All my friends expired last month.”<\/p>\n The worm in my garden: “All my friends are eating all your friends who are dead.”<\/p>\n Jihadist leader to suicide vest bomber: “Remember to say Allahu Akbar before you press the button.”<\/p>\n Sasquatch: “All my friends are make believe.”<\/p>\n Republicans in Congress to The Donald: “I wish Twitter was dead.”<\/p>\n Chicken: “All my friends were loved at Popeyes.”<\/p>\n Sheep: “All my friends are followers.”<\/p>\n Democratic Party emblem: “All my friends are asses. But so are the Republicans.”<\/p>\n Ransomware pop up: “All your files are dead.”<\/p>\n My 78 RPM records: “All my friends are silent if not dead.”<\/p>\n Creepy clown: “I fill you with dread.”<\/p>\n Deadheads: “Our leader is dead.”<\/p>\n Dead Kennedies: “Our gig is dead.”<\/p>\n Tootsie Pop: “All my friends are suckers.”<\/p>\n Snare drum: “All my friends are beat.”<\/p>\n Windows 2.0: “All my screens are frozen dead.”<\/p>\n Grim Reaper: “All your dead are belong to me.”<\/p>\n Subway Sandwich shop: “All my friends are bread.”<\/p>\n Bernie Madoff: “All my friends are dead broke.”<\/p>\n Lemmings: All my friends went over the cliff.”<\/p>\n The Redeemer: “I am the risen dead.”<\/p>\n Francisco Franco: “I am still not dead.”<\/p>\n Global Warming to us: “You’ll all be dead, give or take 3000 years.”<\/p>\n Librarian: “All my friends are dying — in alphabetical order.”<\/p>\n Caesar: “Latin is dead.”<\/p>\n Taxes to Death: “We are life’s only dead certainties.”<\/p>\n Wise man: “Without experience and smarts, you will be soon be dead.”<\/p>\n Black holes: “Cross me and you will be dead.”<\/p>\n Wilbur the pig: “Charlotte’s web kept me from the dead.”<\/p>\n Fukuyama” “History is dead.”<\/p>\n Smart phone apps: “The Web is dead. Long live the internet.”<\/p>\n Zombie: “All my friends are the living dead.”<\/p>\n Copyright \u00a9 2017 From My Isle Seat Editor’s Note: I love the way Marlow thinks. – Vic I saw and quickly read the short satirical children’s book for adults at a Beaufort SC book store this week. All My Friends Are Dead was a dark humor version of the short, sweet children’s books that were popular 20 years ago. Thus amused, the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16144","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-island-times"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16144","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16144"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16144\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16149,"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16144\/revisions\/16149"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16144"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16144"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16144"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"070717-LIT2\"](\"https:\/\/www.vicsocotra.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/070717-LIT2.jpg\")
\n“Shaun of the Living Dead” zombies from the hilarious movie by the same name<\/em><\/p>\n
\nwww.vicsocotraa.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"